National Poetry Writing Month: Day Four, "When a Writer and an Actor Rap-Battle"

 

As with every time we meet,

Allow me the honour of going first,

I’ll blow you away with a lyrical feat,

Sending you off in a Hurst before your drama queen outburst.

My toolkit is full; plot-twists, creativity and maybe I’ll alliterate,

What do you do? Oh yeah, play a tree or do your best to articulate.

You’re a mimic, barely fit for miming,

I’m the writer and the poet, let me do the rhyming.

The guys who have my back are without any peer,

Tolkien, Fitzgerald, Dahl & Shakespeare.

 

 

 

You wanna battle pal but I’ll slay you dead,

And with just a touch of CGI, I’ll even cut off your head.

You think you’re the source of what I just said,

But I can outplay you while I’m sleeping in bed.

Shakespeare, he wrote his plays for me,

So clearly he doth hath more sense than thee.

Don’t get me wrong, your praises I’ll sing,

But who on Earth still reads The Lord of the Rings?

People watch that and A Game of Thrones on T.V,

When was the last time you took home an Oscar or an Emmy?

 

 

 

We have the Nobel Prize, you stupid prick,

How anyone can be so ignorant just knocks me sick,

I had no idea that you were so thick,

I bet there’s more brainpower in an amnesiac-ridden tick.

You’ll never be a competitor in the big league,

Your guys might be famous, but we go down in history,

Try as you might, you’ll never reach our degree,

We’re the crème de la crème, the top pedigree.

Everything you do comes from a script we made,

Talent you may have, but we’ve got it in spades.

 

 

 

Are you really so naïve as to discount my skills,

Buddy, I'm known world-wide for my A-list thrills,

Your jottings read so bad, they're making me ill,

No matter, like dead Ned your career's been killed.

I'll make this point once so you'd better listen up,

We've battled wits but your ass just got whooped,

So why don’t you crawl back into your book?

I’m too busy living in Hollywood, not giving a-

 

 

Hold up brother, we may be like chalk and cheese,

but of each other, we are in need.

 

I have to admit that I agree with your guess,

without each other we’d be worth a damn sight less.